So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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