I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize