i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
