So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
