THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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