I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
