so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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