Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
