It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
