Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
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