the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Randomize
