no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
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