so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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