You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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