idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
