Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I think a kid would responsible me up
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
