i just wanna soil my oats bro
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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