i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Is that strawberry winking at me??
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
