Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You have to summon your inner elephant
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
