he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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