its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
