she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
