guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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