Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
