Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
this hospital has no fireball
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
