How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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