I need help removing her.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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