I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
