so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
how drunk are you?
Several
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
