she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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