dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
