he thought i was a dude.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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