i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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