This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
