i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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