Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
