i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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