the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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