i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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