you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
