Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
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I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
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Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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