It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
