Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
