Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My vagina just recognized that song.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
