I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
