I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
