1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
