He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
