I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
