Its about making memories worth repressing
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
