Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize