I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize