My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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