butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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