Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
