i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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