Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
