Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
