weddingsv make me drug and hornr
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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