We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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