Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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