i wish semen tasted like chocolate
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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