he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
