she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
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I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
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You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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