I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i think i have two assholes
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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