he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
