he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
