So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
