I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We are two peas in an std pod
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
