I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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