The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
