I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
