Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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