I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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